- Badass Bouncer Brad
- Bartender Andrew
- DJ MatchStick McQuick
Outside The Club
People waiting in line outside of The Club include the Wally Mart Greeter, Jane, Dominick, and The Pathological Liar, who (if you keep clicking him) brags about his proficiency in the original Stick RPG.
Inside The Club
The dance floor
In this section of the nightclub, Hippie Potamos can be seen dancing, and Domino, Rave Chick, and Creepster Marlo can all be seen standing around.
During the late afternoon (not at night), DJ MatchStick McQuick will request a pizza and a milkshake. After obtaining those items for him, DJ MatchStick McQuick will give the player a rare Trophemon bird.
The bar section
In this section of The Club, the player can get drunk. The player can also engage in a brawl with a drunken man sitting on the couch.
The bathroom stalls
Inside the women's bathroom stall, Jacky will be snorting and doing the drug Coca. If the player interacts with her, he will take the Coca and Jacky will think the player is a police officer, and will begin to beg. Next to Jacky will be Some Chick (literally, that’s her name), who is telling her friend on the toilet to hurry up.
Inside of the men's bathroom stall in Einstein's Twin. He will give the player a long and sophisticated conundrum, and if the player has a hefty amount of intelligence points, the player can solve the riddle (gives more Intelligence points and good Karma) and receive Einsteinium (needed to construct a sledgehammer). Alternatively, the player can also fight Einstein's Twin (gives bad Karma) and still receive Einsteinium, however, Einstein's Twin is equipped with a superior electric sledgehammer.